Love and Marriage (and Money)

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Marriage is hard.

It’s a nice idea when everything is roses and rainbows. But after the DJ has packed his gear and the birdseed is swept up, it sets in. Turns out, smashing two lives together in an everlasting covenant gets real pretty quick.

I’ve had a couple different seemingly-random conversations about money and marriage this week, totally unrelated and unprompted.

The topic in common: married, with separate bank accounts.

That led me down an investigative rabbit hole. Turns out that individual accounts are on the rise, specifically in the last 10 years or so (according to the US Census).

Other surveys have shown that couples (married or living together) split almost neatly into thirds: joint account, joint + separate, or totally separate. I have to add an asterisk on “living together”, that is not the same as married.

I have just one question for you if you find yourself married, with unshared money: ARE YOU ALL IN?

I mean that sincerely. I have a couple decades of marriage experience under my belt now, and I will give anyone thinking about marriage a guarantee that you can take to the bank: it WILL get hard. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, maybe not even this decade. But it will get harder than you ever imagined when you made a promise in front of friends and family.

The only way to survive, stay married, and still actually like each other is to be all in, every single day.

That is what real commitment is.

For better, for worse, in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer.

Where your money is – and where your money goes – tells the story of your love and commitment. If you ever want to do some reflection and learn what you hold dear in life, all of the answers are in your bank statements.

You cannot be fully committed to your marriage, and have your own separate money. You might be 80% or even 97% committed, but you cannot possibly be 100% committed unless everything is all in together, and you’re rowing in the same direction as your spouse. And there will come a day when you need that last 3%.

Go all in, my friend!

P.S. – Marriage is hard. So is business.

That’s why I created Profit Hiker.

Profit Hiker is my program to help business owners discover hidden profit, create margin, avoid financial struggle, and finally feel the freedom of a business that works for you.

There are 11 trails to gain lasting elevation in your business, and I have the maps waiting for you.